Tiny Tarot Story
Read a (very) short story inspired by the Two of Wands.
They call her the Queen of Dump Him, the Empress of You Can Do Better. People write in to hear what they already know, but don’t want to admit. In another era, she might’ve been her paper’s advice columnist, answering questions in the Sunday edition. But she wants to reach the people who need her cool mind the most critically, and there’s nowhere better for that than Instagram. Her mission: Spare the world from dirtbags. In her profile photo, she holds scissors. Sever those ties, girl.
✨
She’d seen the best minds of her generation lost to boyfriends. Bright, glowing women—her friends. They’d find guys and start chipping themselves away as if they were sculptures, and the men the artists. Sometimes they even married them. The white dresses clinging to their new contours.
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Her inbox is filled with messages from women who can’t imagine a different life but want to. Their messages begin, “I love him, but.” And after the “but” comes the red flags, rows of them, swaying flagrantly in the wind. Her task, as she sees it, is severing the reeds keeping them stuck to the floor. But she can’t do it for them. Instead, she tries to give them the steely resolve needed to do what they must—which is cut themselves loose. Which is go.
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Her responses are honest, concise, and leave no room for interpretation. If you should leave, she’ll say so. People sometimes write in to thank her after they listen. But her nickname isn’t totally accurate. Sometimes, she says, “Stay.” She’s reasonable, after all.
✨
Even though she’s not a romantic, she hasn’t ruled out the possibility that one day, she might like someone enough to briefly lose herself. Briefly. For to her, love means wholeness. You should never be with someone who cuts you down—or who gives you the tools to do it for them. She gives women their swords back. She’s never letting go of hers.
Find this post on Instagram. It was originally dedicated to Sara Calvarese, owner of the 8th House, a witchy boutique in New Jersey. Consider shopping there!
Queen of Swords Musings
Reflections
The other day, my friend was wrestling with a relationship issue. She asked if she could talk to my mom about it, since my mom has a reputation for giving good advice. I lowered my voice like some consigliere and said, “Only talk to her when when you’re ready. She might not tell you what you want to hear.”
The issue is, my mom is pretty much always right, and I’ve benefitted from her track record too many times to argue with it. So if you’re going to consult her, be prepared to hear the truth—for once uttered, truth is hard to forget. My mom also can’t control her facial expressions (sorry!), so even if she doesn’t say it, the truth is written all over her face.
That’s why I usually don’t ask my mom for advice. Instead, I ask for confirmation that I should be walking along the path my braver, bolder, yet sensible self dictates. My higher self.
The Queen of Swords is the court card that wants you to cut the bargaining and bullshit and excuses, and listen to your higher self. But the Queen of Swords is just a tarot card. She can’t unpeel herself from her cardboard cage and give us advice or guidance. We have to do the hard work of channeling the Queen of Swords for ourselves—and for the people in our lives.
Now, I’m not saying to dole out advice where it’s not welcome. But I am saying that sometimes, our friends and loved ones need someone to believe in them, and believe they can be better. In those cases, we’re called upon to be the Queen of Swords: Remind them that they have the skills to cope with life’s challenges.
And, better yet, they have you by their side while they do so. Sometimes, we can only be brave when we know we’re not alone. Remember: The Queen of Swords acts from a place of love, even if it’s not the mushy or sentimental variety.
Think back to a moment in life when you’ve been torn between honesty and compassion in an interaction with someone. Do you tell a hard truth, or do you enable your friend to keep making bad decisions in the name of “support?” The Queen of Swords offers a third way: She gives people the sword to do the work themselves. She empowers people to have their own awakenings. When faced with the honesty vs. truth crossroads, the Queen of Swords compassionately prod people toward the truth.
As for becoming the Queen of Swords? Well, answer this: Have you ever made a mistake? And have you ever learned from it? Then you’re on your way. The Queen of Swords status is attained only through screwing up, reflecting, and repeating the process, until your vision of the past has refined your decisions in the present. Until your sword is sharp and glimmering, and you feel capable and armed to take on life’s challenges.
Don’t act on behalf of your emotion, the Queen of Swords says. Act decisively, and act on behalf of your best self.
Journaling Prompts
Who do you turn to for advice? What about their advice is good? Why can you trust them?
Think of a time you were able to override your impulses. What was your thought process like in that moment? How did it turn out?
Are you a protector to anyone? How do you embody that role, and how do you guide people when they turn to you?
What factors do you use to make decisions, big and small?
Have you ever wanted a friend to end a relationship because—in your mind—you can see the situation more clearly than they could? How did that turn out? Were you right? What role did you play?
Start a Story of Your Own
Write a story of your own inspired by the dynamics present in the Queen of Swords, starting with this sentence. If you email me your story, I’ll share it in the next newsletter.
“You want to know what I really think?” She put her teacup down. The china echoed in the ballroom. She cleared her throat, and began.
Extra Credit
Have an honest but loving conversation with a friend.
Read this interview I once did with Jane Fonda. She is the queen of “Dump him, don’t settle.”
Listen to the Dear Sugars podcast, or read Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar column for The Rumpus, to get one vision of the Queen of Swords. The tone is compassionate; the aim is bravery.